Biologists Announce There Absolutely Nothing We Can Learn From Clams

WOODS HOLE, MA—Saying they saw no conceivable reason to bother with the bivalve mollusks, biologists at the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution announced Thursday that there was absolutely nothing to be learned from clams.

“Our studies have found that while some of their shells look pretty cool, clams really don’t have anything to teach us,” said […]

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https://theonion.com/biologists-announce-there-absolutely-nothing-we-can-learn-from-clams/

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